The first, well, if you don't already know, then congratulations on finally managing to get out from under that rock. The second, well, it's all about the pretty.
That's right, People has unwisely chosen today to unveil the aesthetically pleasing crop of superstars that make up this year's list of Most Beautiful People, with the much coveted cover shot going to Sandra Bullock Angelina Jolie Halle Berry Julia Roberts, her fourth such time as the Most Most Beautiful Person.
She's called a Pretty Woman for a reason, folks. And it's not just because it makes for a good pun. Of course, she's not alone in the genetic winners' circle, getting joined this year by everybody's favorite sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart (they're kind of a set), Jennifers Aniston, Garner and Lopez, Jake Gyllenhaal, Zoe Saldana, Scarlett Johansson, Bradley Cooper and the dreamiest, wittiest deodorant hawker out there, Isaiah Mustafa, to name a few. Now here's the rest:
First, the ladies. Joining the lookers in the list proper is Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, small-screen babe Sofia Vergara, newly engaged songbird Katy Perry, suddenly prolific starlet Amanda Seyfried, Good Wife's Julianna Margulies and Gossip Girl star Jessica Szohr.
As for the fellas, Ryan Reynolds, Johnny Depp, front-sweeper extraordinaire Justin Bieber and Grey's Anatomy hunks Patrick Dempsey and Kevin McKidd also made the cut.
Among those forced to bear the title of Hot: our own Kim Kardashian and Kendra Wilkinson made the cut. They're joined by Glee's Dianna Agron, Adam Lambert, Christina Hendricks, Gabourey Sidibe, Kelly Osbourne and Miley Cyrus.
The magazine's round-up of Beautiful at Every Age is where K. Stew makes the scene, and she's joined by...well, just about every hot young star you can think of (hey, every year has a publicist-appeasing catch-all category, and this is 2010's).
Joining the ranks are Vanessa Hudgens, Blake Lively, Megan Fox (no hot list is complete without her!), Freida Pinto, America Ferrera, Anne Hathaway, Beyoncé, Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, Kate Hudson, January Jones, Reese Witherspoon, Amy Adams, Eva Mendes, Jenny McCarthy, Taraji P. Henson, Gwen Stefani, Lucy Liu, Kate Walsh, Cindy Crawford, Marisa Tomei, Mariska Hargitay (still with us? Hang in there!), Demi Moore, Sheryl Crow, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michelle Pfeiffer, Annette Bening, Christie Brinkley and Meryl Streep, among other decade-spanning beauties.
This year's crop of stars who we hate look good without makeup are Ashley Greene, Diane Kruger, Heidi Klum, Kerry Washington, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Robin Wright and Selena Gomez.
People also helpfully took the guesswork out of naming Hollywood's All-Time Screen Beauties (until next year, that is), dividing the stunning leading ladies into decade-size bites.
The Noughties are well represented by Natalie Portman, Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, Penélope Cruz, Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Lopez. The '90s were apparently blinded by the beauty of Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz, Michelle Yeoh, Winona Ryder, Nicole Kidman and Meg Ryan. The '80s belonged to Brooke Shields and Kim Basinger.
Oddly absent from the list—or at least from the online preview of the list—is Sandra Bullock, but we're guessing (hoping) that the magazine's editors didn't want to over saturate the market. We're sure she'll make the cut when the issue hits newsstands this week...right, People?!