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GREY'S ANATOMY 11x03 Got To Be Real

OWEN HUNT MONOLOGUE about missing Cristina
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“I need something to be ... good. To ... I need something to feel
right. OK, I’m not depressed. I’m not, my heart is not broken. I'm
not grieving. She’s not dead. She’s out there. She’s living out
her dreams. And I know, I know she’s happy. And that makes me feel
proud for her. But there is this other feeling that doesn’t completely
feel fair - or right - or good.

She goes on day in, day out, happy. Without me. But every morning I wake
up and there’s this pit, this ... feeling here that maybe my dreams
are over. Maybe, maybe I had my dreams, and they're over now. And I’m
going to be this single guy. No wife, no kids, no family. She was my
family. Hmm.

And now she’s someplace else and I let her go and ... It’s good that
I did. I mean, it’s better - for her. But for me ... So I need
something to be good. I need a reason to get up every morning, to not
crawl back into that cave that I was in before I met her. And you know
she saved me. You were there. You remember how I was. I was, I was dark.
That war made me dark. And that darkness, it is still in me. She just
lit it up.

So I just thought, I just thought ... maybe to beat back that darkness I
would do, I would do something good. I would just do something good.
Like go be with those guys who would remind me. I just need something to
be good. That’s why I dragged you to that rehab center. That’s why,
I wanted you to help. That’s why I pushed too hard. And that’s it.
I’m not going to talk about it anymore. Okay? So just say that we’re
okay. Okay?”


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